Wednesday, October 21, 2009


some people realized i left a recent {or not so recent} update kind of, open-ended.... well we had some things in the works, and they have come through. for the past several months i have been struggling with finding my own self worth. other struggles have been placed on top of that and have taken some time to dig through. cameron used to work really long hours like 12 hours a day 5 to 6 days a week. it was killing us, him and me. after sundance closed their doors and he found a new job that doesn't allow him to work over 40 hours a week i thought things would ease for me and my mind, however they didn't. we have tried giving me one night out a week to get a break from all that the girls needed and to just figure out how to be heidi and not just "mom." this helped quite a bit, but it has been so long since i have just done what i wanted, that i had no idea what to do. i do get the chance to have dinner with friends though and that is nice. but still fulfillment eluded me. it finally slapped me upside the head what i needed to do, and i was really hesitant, but everything is working out better than i could imagine.






i love it!!!! i work one night a week in the nursery at the hospital.. rocking babies, feeding babies, changing diapers, burping babies... everything i do at home, but i get paid for it!!!! i don't really care about the pay, but the chance to get back to nursing could not feel better. i have been so lucky to get to spend the last 5 years at home with my kids, and i may be a bad mom for not finding fulfillment in being "just mom," but i needed the outlet and a chance to be "heidi." part of being me is being a nurse-- it is a part of my soul, my person---- me.... i don't know what this adventure will bring for me, but i am most grateful for the opportunity!!!!!