Wednesday, October 21, 2009

{until}

some people realized i left a recent {or not so recent} update kind of, open-ended.... well we had some things in the works, and they have come through. for the past several months i have been struggling with finding my own self worth. other struggles have been placed on top of that and have taken some time to dig through. cameron used to work really long hours like 12 hours a day 5 to 6 days a week. it was killing us, him and me. after sundance closed their doors and he found a new job that doesn't allow him to work over 40 hours a week i thought things would ease for me and my mind, however they didn't. we have tried giving me one night out a week to get a break from all that the girls needed and to just figure out how to be heidi and not just "mom." this helped quite a bit, but it has been so long since i have just done what i wanted, that i had no idea what to do. i do get the chance to have dinner with friends though and that is nice. but still fulfillment eluded me. it finally slapped me upside the head what i needed to do, and i was really hesitant, but everything is working out better than i could imagine.


i

went

back

to

work!!!!!!


i love it!!!! i work one night a week in the nursery at the hospital.. rocking babies, feeding babies, changing diapers, burping babies... everything i do at home, but i get paid for it!!!! i don't really care about the pay, but the chance to get back to nursing could not feel better. i have been so lucky to get to spend the last 5 years at home with my kids, and i may be a bad mom for not finding fulfillment in being "just mom," but i needed the outlet and a chance to be "heidi." part of being me is being a nurse-- it is a part of my soul, my person---- me.... i don't know what this adventure will bring for me, but i am most grateful for the opportunity!!!!!

8 comments:

Mike, Sha, Kenna, Kate, & Garrett said...

Good for you, glad you are enjoying it!

Jenna said...

That's pretty exciting! I'm glad you enjoy it! We can't wait to see you guys soon! Lots of loves!!

Our Crazy Life said...

Yeah! "Me Time" is so important to a mom! It gives you a chance to get a break, and do things you need and want to do! Good for you! I am glad you are loving it! If you ever need anyone to talk to, you don know you can always call me! Take care girl!

Anonymous said...

Yay, Yay, Yay!!!!
Now I really wish we still lived there so we could rock babies together (at work and home)!
I'm glad for you. I wish you knew what a fantastic mother you really are. Your kids are lucky! Just because it is called "work" doesn't mean it is bad. Many stay at home moms spend more time watching tv, on the internet, or crafting than you spend at work. Kids need to know they are loved but they also need to know you are a person and not a maid, cook, servant....
Wow, I had a lot to say. I need to call.
chandra

Levi and Marissa Richins said...

That is so great Heidi! It is too easy to lose a sense of who you are sometimes when you are a mom. We are glad that you are happy!

Unknown said...

That does not make you a bad mom. A happy mom is a good mom. You are setting a good example for you girls. Moms give up a lot of there self when they become moms. I never realized this until I was a mom.

Unknown said...

I'm so glad you love it! There's something about helping others that's in our blood, as nurses and mothers. Let me know if we can help with the girls. Emily would love to play!

Kathy said...

Your nurturing side is one of the parts I love best about you. I think that's why you are such a great nurse.... and a great wife and mother. As for being away one night a week..... why do you think I went to work part-time? I totally understand! The fact that it pays..... added bonus.