{Simple}

today i missed church....

because i couldn't find my shoe.....

it shouldn't feel so frustrating.....

i am going to blog on this.. it may be too personal for some, but i am blogging it anyway, because, like me, i know someone out there needs to hear that someone else struggles... i am that someone else.

my girls are precious and loving and everything i have wanted, then the day gets rolling and i have to deal with the crying and whining and screaming and fits and diapers and eating and dishes and, and, and.....

i literally sat on the floor today and cried in my husband's arms over my missing shoe. i then proceeded to throw away my girls things that were left out. packed up the mess in the playroom. screamed and yelled and threw my own fit...

then i felt a little better. i wish i could keep it all together and keep a nice house, clean children, children that are dressed, and have time to have fun with my kids. i feel like all i do is clean up and i never have time to just "play" with them.

i even threw out the cleaning system i was using so i could sit while i was pregnant and it has been shelved ever since, so i could attend to 3 instead of 2.

i visited with the most amazing person today and watched (and listened) as i heard my words come through her lips at her own trouble-makers. there is comfort in this. i didn't feel like such a failure. and so i post my own troubles in hopes that someone else will feel comfort. because that is what we are to do. and if you feel compelled share your own challenges so that i can have others riding this crazy boat of motherhood with me.....

{Abundance}

they tell me that she is too little.....

to increase her calories......

do you think that this is what "they" mean?

Overheard....

Kesslynn: "Kairi Jo Winn, I stinky butt!!"

Kairi: "Yes Kesslynn, You do have a stinky butt."

Guess I had better get on that--

~*~ Easter ~*~

This year our Easter was VERY low key. Ellie was almost 3 weeks old, so it really slowed us down on what we could do. Of course, we took the kids to the XRQ Easter Egg hunt, which is really an Easter Candy Hunt. They both came away with just the right amount of candy and I re-used it to fill the easter eggs. Kesslynn has the most serious sweet tooth that is only rivaled by one particular little boy (ahem- Isaac -ahem). So this year I vowed to NOT buy ANY candy. I also have a sweet tooth, and at this point in time I think it has gotten the better of me... necessitating a trip to the dentist- soon.) Anyway, so this is what the girls did and how much fun they had despite the "low key" I have to say they still had fun, and I think we will keep it up.....

4 Weeks Old

Just some quick pictures of Ellie at {almost} 4 weeks old.....



{

Kairi is responsible for this shot....{above}

Elika Ann Winn

Wish I had an updated picture for you, but I don't so-- Oh well!!!!

First of all-- Congrats to all the new moms out there!!! Hurray we all got there relatively unscathed. Now the fun starts with a newborn and getting used to THAT new schedule!!

I realized it has been awhile, and I still haven't given the whole "birth story." So here goes.

March 20th was my due date and the first day of spring, but no baby. So I waited. At my last appointment, my doctor (surprisingly didn't hound hehehe) asked what I wanted to do. He asked if I was ready and if I wanted to be induced. Honestly I was sitting on the fence. I wanted to have Ellie so bad, but an induction is hard on a body, and I just wasn't sure I was at that point. So he told me to go home and think about how "done" I was and call him if I didn't want to wait even 1 more week. I figured I'd see how long I could tough it out.

Sunday came. 2 days after my due date, and HURRAY!!! contractions started about 3pm. They were so wimpy though. I didn't think that they hurt and the last time I went through this, the contractions hurt in a different place--- my back. So I was waiting for that to start. It never did... My contractions were like 1 hour apart, so I went and did my Sunday ritual miserable as I was. By the time I went to bed that night they were probably 30-45 min apart. Closer, but I wasn't going to the hospital for them either.

Monday morning came. 3 days after my due date, and HIP HIP HURRAY!!!! the contractions woke me up about 3 am. But they were like 30 min apart so I decided to go back to sleep. No point in going to the hospital for these wimpy things either. About 6 am, they woke me up again, and this time something felt different--- the contractions were actually starting to hurt. Now I needed to breathe. I woke up Cameron, and we yanked our little ones out of bed and hauled them to the hospital, where Cameron's dad met us to take the girls with him. Hopefully I was staying!!!

The nurse came in and checked me.... 3cm... You have to be kidding me... I was a 3 two doctors appointments ago!!! I was ready to go home. But my nurse (she was my nurse with Kesslynn too) had me stay for an hour. "If you change in the next hour we will keep you..." Praying for change....

1 hour later: Hurray!!! I am now a 5!!! (After a really terrible contraction- thus prompting the quick placement of the blissful "EPIDURAL". After the heaven drug was placed, the rest was kind of a blur.

Of note, however, is the downside to my tale. I have had the same doctor with all the kids. This time around we go in for delivery and find out that he is out of town. Sucky.... He is an awesome doctor, and I can't say enough nice things about him (can I Chandra hahahaha) Anyway I got the newest OB in town-- He'll do.....

From here on out it is pretty much textbook.... "PUSH!" "PUSH!" "BREATHE!" etc... She showed up at 2:38pm. I was exhausted in a way I can't describe. I am so glad she got here and that I didn't have to labor for too terribly long!! Thus is the end of the anti-climactic tale.


Ellie is now 3 weeks old and she is a dear. We all are in love with her and she makes it so easy. I heard it said recently that you really learn to love a baby with your third. I think that it is so true. I know what to cherish, what to forget and I'm getting a little better at rolling with the punches the kids throw at me. Kesslynn may be running around without a diaper on 90% of the time, but she is wearing a smile... Kairi's hair is a mess and her clothes don't match, but she is happy and I think she is clean. I may miss my shower 2 out of 3 days, but I have deodorant and I'm no longer pregnant. I can pick up my kids, hug them tight, wipe away their tears, read them stories with them on my lap, and hold my brand-new baby. I am Happy.....

*** iRoq***

Betcha can't guess why.....

Because I helped create and bring

This:






Enjoy this tidbit slide show and come back later for "the rest of the story."

{ { {{ Happy Birthday Kessie}} } }

My current baby is 2!!!! And I can't believe it....
It took some convincing to get her here and there were so many emotions that we dealt with surrounding and during her birth. It was a hard one. But I would not change it for anything!!! She is such a blessing to our family!!!

We celebrated with a little family party that goes something like this:

:::Cake::::





:::Candle Drama:::




:::Recovery:::




:::Presents:::





:::Resting:::







So there is the party!!!!

Some things about Kesslynn Leigh that are fun to talk about:


1. She loves "Dora the Explorer"
2. She is seldom clothed~ She even undressed at the doctor's office during her 2 year
old check up!!!
3. She loves to be "tricky"- her current trick is to walk on the tops of her toes
{imagine curling your toes under and walking like that}
4. She snores-- just like her dad and her sister
5. She loves to eat EVERYTHING
6. She loves her big sister and can't get enough of her
7. She has started saying "Love you too!"
8. She goes crazy at about 7pm every night- that is how I know she is tired
9. She is learning to pray and gets help from everyone
10. She loves to tell me that she is my girl

Happy Birthday Kesslynn!!! We love you!!!

Us....

Okay, so I don't particularly like to post about myself.... It is always much more fun to tell everyone about my girls or husband. But I figure I am getting close enough to popping that I had better catch you all up....


No Baby yet.... If I go on my own I will be surprised. I am Due March 20. I don't expect anything until at least then-- so don't stress that you missed something :: I promise you didn't.


The Baby is turned, but that is the extent of her making her way here. My doctor will probably have to hound me into having this baby, because he had to hound me into the last one. I even got induced TWICE with Kesslynn before we actually got her here. {The first time I had the induction was for my doctor's sake. He doesn't like Mama's that get too close- or go over- their due dates} So anyway.....

Baby has no name at this point and I think it will come down to a little crunch time/ pressure before we decide on one. It hasn't felt very pressing to have a name when we get there so we go with it.

As for me, I feel pretty crappy, but probably no different than anyone else. The older girls exhaust me and Kesslynn is almost 2 which is more than enough child to handle and I have Kairi on top of that. Our neighbors {the people we built our home with- convenient for us} are great to let Kairi come play and have really been the friends we knew they would be when we were building. My misery at this point is nothing that is abnormal for anyone as far along as me and I expect no sympathy- Just be aware that my fuse is short and I don't answer the phone or the door for that matter when I feel like this to spare others my wrath.... {I am afraid that when my fuse is this short my emotions tend to override my reasoning and when they clash anyone in my way should beware}


So go ahead- come visit me I Dare Ya!!!!! J/K..... Keep watching the blog, I'll post when we pop!!!

Happy "GETTING MUCH OLDER" Birthday Dave!!!!!

Davy---

We hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!! Love you- Heidi, Kairi, Kesslynn and Cameron